The Missing Link
A beautifully preserved 47-million-year-old fossil, found just south of 72nd & Dodge Streets here in Omaha, is believed to be the fabled missing link, the earliest ancestor of all living monkeys, apes and people. University of Nebraska paleontologists told reporters earlier today that the fossil “bridges the evolutionary gap between higher primates such as monkeys, apes, and humans and their more distant relatives such as Omaha city council members, Nebraska state senators, lawyers, and Wall Street investment bankers.”
The excitement generated by the find proved to be short-lived, however, when paleontologists discovered late this afternoon that the 47-million-year-old fossil was actually just a squirrel that Mrs. B. had run over with her golf cart shortly after she opened that bargain-loving Nebraska Furniture Mart.
