It seems the lovely ladies of UNO’s Chi Omega sorority won’t be occupying the Havens-Page House at 101 North 39th Street anytime soon. At least that’s the opinion of Omaha’s City Council, which voted unanimously to deny a special permit to the sorority.
Whew! How perilously close we came to irreparably damaging the delicate social order of Midtown Omaha! Imagine the danger to the neighborhood brought on by a house full of eight college-educated, aspiring young professionals. Oh, the horror! Picture the senseless acts of debauchery and young-adult malaise that could have taken place: hair in the sinks, week-old takeout containers in the fridge, wireless Internet access throughout the house and the ever-present couch on the front porch. There may even have been gentlemen suitors calling on these young ladies at all hours. However would the Gold Coast recover?
Havens-Page might even risk its roster spot on the National Register of Historic Places. For all we Omahans know, the NRHP may have a “no college students allowed” clause in its bylaws.
One local news source Wednesday reported that neighbors of the Havens-Page House were up in arms over the prospects of a sorority occupying the historic mansion. Such occupancy would hamper midtown’s desire for a “single family neighborhood.”
Single family? Unless Jon and Kate (plus eight) are moving to Omaha, good luck finding a family big enough to occupy this palatial monstrosity. Even Mike Brady would have turned his brood around to look for smaller quarters.
But it seems the concerned citizens of midtown Omaha have won this battle and (at least temporarily) staved off a few of the tragedies of the modern world, such as “congestion” and “dense population.”
