From the category archives:

Mayor's Race

Omaha’s New Mayor Is Not Hal Daub

May 13, 2009

The new mayor’s victory was marred by the threat of litigation from several other candidates, including Jim Vokal, who filed suit immediately after the election results came in complaining that they also were not Hal Daub, and that election officials had failed to adequately inform them that the primary qualification for running in and winning Omaha’s mayoral contest was to not be Hal.

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Election Day 2009

May 12, 2009

The World-Herald apparently sees itself as in loco parentis (or at least loco), telling us daily why voting is good for us: Why should you vote in the mayor’s race? Boy, thanks. I needed that! Tomorrow tell me why I should eat more broccoli.

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The Candidates And The Issues

May 10, 2009

For nearly a decade, Omahans have enjoyed the luxury of not thinking about their mayor. Mike Fahey was a benevolent absentee landlord, who ruled from the Ozarks and the Holiday Lounge. But now it’s election time, and we’re forced to recall that Omaha not only has a mayor but we have to vote for [...]

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Candidates Get Out Ahead Of The Swine Flu Epidemic

April 28, 2009

Not to be outdone when it comes to credibility with Omaha’s pig constituency, Daub pointed out that he served on the MECA board, “which I hope speaks for itself when it comes to swinishness.”

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Omaha Mayor’s Race Causes Mass Apathy

April 27, 2009

The Omaha Mayor’s race heats up and threatens to become a tepid slurry of inanities. Candidate Jim Suttle continues to amaze with breathtaking non sequiturs like, “The light rail for Omaha is not about transportation. It’s about development.” Let’s build a baseball stadium that is not about baseball and a light rail system that [...]

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Campaign Cautions Daub Against Maniacal Laughter

April 15, 2009

While solidly Republican suburban mega-church members may appreciate your references to ‘iron-fisted control’ and Castro-esque soliloquies about your own greatness, our focus group data suggests that the laughter with which you have been concluding your stump speech is somewhere between Bela Lugosi and Goldfinger

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Unable To Locate Anyone Who Voted In Tuesday’s Primary

April 9, 2009

Many thoughtful readers wrote in asking how the most powerful and least reliable source for news in the Mid-Heartland could fail to report on the results of Tuesday’s election primary and the mayor’s race. Here at Weird Harold, we spend extravagant amounts of money on good old-fashioned shoe-leather journalism and man-on-the-street reporting. That, coupled with [...]

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Omaha Police and Fire Pension Pickle

April 4, 2009

Omaha’s three would-be mayors have been in the news for weeks beating their chests about how, if elected, they will eliminate a $350 million shortfall in police and fire pensions. That’s million with an M, not billion or trillion. This is the big issue of the campaign? Taxpayers are being billed weekly for billion-and-trillion-dollar bail-out [...]

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Vokal Seeks To Become Omaha’s First Alien Mayor

March 25, 2009

The candidacy of K’fazzd’pf “Jim” Vokal is the first attempt by an interstellar visitor to claim Omaha’s highest office. Vokal’s home world is Xyzzy 2, the second planet from 55 Cancri, a star system in the constellation Cancer, approximately 40.9 light years from downtown Omaha. “I visit home every 2.3 of your [...]

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Mayor Hal Daub, Forever

March 23, 2009

Daub denied that Jim Vokal has documents purporting to show that Daub has been running for office for over seven centuries in various remote villages in the Carpathian Mountains of Transylvania.

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