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J. Random Slacker

Paulson & Buffett Agree: “TARP Funds Saved Our Asses, But Not Yours”

February 13, 2010

Legendary investor Warren Buffett played host last week to former Treasury chief Henry Paulson, who was in Omaha flakking his new book: On The Brink: How I Raped The Taxpayers And Saved My Pals At Goldman Sachs. A crowd of 2,400 people, many of whom still have jobs, attended the annual meeting of the Greater [...]

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Thank God It’s Over!

December 31, 2009

The year was less than zero. Heck, the entire decade was a big zero. We owe more money, our houses are worth less, we don’t open the retirement account statements any more because the anemic balances are too painful to see. Goldman Sachs (Scrooge and vampire squid) has drained all of the cash.
Supposedly Omaha [...]

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Don’t Drink The Water

December 17, 2009

Omaha’s water used to taste like chlorine, but some years ago the Metropolitan Utilities District switched to using chloramines as a disinfectant, instead of just draining water from local swimming pools closed by our mayor to solve the city’s budget crisis.
Now both the New York Times and the Environmental Working Group have given Omaha’s tap [...]

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NYTimes Gail Collins Tweaks The Benator

November 12, 2009

Paul Krugman of the New York Times called Ben a zombie a couple of months back, now op-ed columnist Gail Collins is after Ben as well:
Since Nelson is a Democrat from a red state, if he decided to vote against the health care plan, I would greet the news with perfect equanimity. But he is [...]

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Hitler Reacts To Iowa State Beating Nebraska

November 3, 2009

Found in the ashes!

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Hitler Reacts To Virginia Tech Beating Nebraska

November 3, 2009

The loss to Iowa State was too much for Mein Fuhrer. He took his own life after Mussolini refused to replace Bo Linguini in the 2010 season. The footage of the Fuhrer’s reaction to Nebraska’s eight turnovers was lost in the fire that consumed the Eagle’s Nest shortly after Hitler donned his foam cornhead, doused [...]

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KXVO Pumpkin Dance

November 2, 2009

As Nebraskans ponder the mediocrity of the Big Red, Omaha is now all over the Internet, gaining world-wide renown as the place where the Pumpkin Dance was made.

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Husker Dementia

October 26, 2009

Each year at this time, WeirdHarold.com sends a reporter to cover the Big Red where it lives and breathes: Memorial Stadium, Lincoln, Nebraska. Last weekend, game day was shame day. Hear that eerie silence in the stands? That’s 80,000 people wondering what else the state of Nebraska could be good at that might not involve [...]

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Husker Brain Damage

October 3, 2009

Brain damage is not just for the pros. Last week, Florida’s Tim Tebow got knocked out cold with a Grade III concussion. At least the pros are well-paid for flirting with permanent brain damage. Okay, dementia explains what happens when you play football. Now we need a study to look into spectator brain damage, as in what makes 70,000 people dress up in fire engine red, drive 100 miles, and gather in a stadium to watch out-sized primates butt heads over an inflated leather pouch.

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Warren Buffett Changes His Tune

September 20, 2009

In the midst of the worst recession since the Great Depression, the financial community is watching Warren Buffett’s latest moves, anxious for indications that the Wizard of Omaha believes a recovery is underway.
Unfortunately, Buffett is cutting back on buying stocks and thinking about purchasing all of Wall Street, instead, because he doesn’t like the [...]

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